Many of us have heard… “Internet dating? Are you crazy?” Well-meaning friends will ask you, “Why Internet dating? Can’t you just go to the gym or hang out at Starbucks?”
If you’re asking yourself this same question, I’m going to do something my mother taught me never to do, and answer a question with a question. If you were looking to hire someone for a job, would you go to the grocery store and hope to find your new employee in the produce section? Would you hope to meet him or her at the gym? If you’re looking for a job, would you hope that a friend might introduce you or that you might bump into someone at church?
No! If you’re looking to hire someone, you place an ad and interview prospective candidates to fill the position. If you’re looking for a job, you’ll look at ads placed by an employer who is hiring. This seems “normal and logical”, right?
Well then, why would you trust the single most important “job” of your life – the position of your partner – to anything less logical and methodical?
Over my professional life I’ve hired many people, and Internet dating seemed similar in so many ways. We advertise, screen, interview and select our mates with intention rather than make it a random chance meeting. In this world of never having enough time, isn’t this better than the old fashioned way when you’re not sure what you’re getting until you’ve invested a lot of time?
I’m here to tell you that Internet dating is exactly the same thing. When you approach it from the perspective that you are, in fact, “hiring” a life partner, things get much easier. And, you get what you want! That might seem a little cold, but think about it – if you meet the person who has everything you seek in a mate, doesn’t it follow that you will probably like each other, and possibly even fall in love?
The business component of this venture came through early in my search to find my soul mate. After several e-mails with one gentleman, he asked for my telephone number. In our conversation he made the comment that he felt like he was being interviewed. I told him that he was being interviewed: for the most important job he’d ever have, my partner. That was our last conversation as we moved at a very different pace. I didn’t want to spend six months getting to know someone on a superficial level. I wanted the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version right away.
As an employer, imagine the vast difference between hiring someone that you met at the grocery store, to someone who meets your exact criteria for the job opening in question. Which employee do you think will have greater success long-term with your company? The same thing goes for finding the love of your life. If you want your love to last through the years, it helps to know what you want and find the person to fit your own very personal “job description.”
If you’re serious about finding the right partner, Internet dating not only allows you to pre-vet them and eliminate characteristics or habits that won’t work for you, it also allows you to be very specific in finding what you DO want. Another advantage is that you already know that your potential partner is single, available AND looking to commit to a relationship. That sure beats meeting some guy at a bar!
Unfortunately, online dating websites offer little help to their customers, because they really just serve as a gathering place, like a bar. They are a great tool, but you are on your own to make the most out of it, and that’s why I wrote this course – to guide you through the process so you can have a wonderful experience AND find the love of your life.
Online dating used to be something people thought of as a last-ditch desperate effort. However, in recent years it has become much more acceptable and even recommended. According to the Internet information provider comScore, over 20 million people visit online dating sites every single month. One of the sites, eHarmony, claims that their service results in 2% of all marriages in the United States. This clearly shows that times have changed! Online dating offers anonymity, a large pool of prospects, and the ability to learn about your potential matches before you meet them in person.
The next thing people ask me is usually, “Isn’t online dating dangerous, or actually a crapshoot?” To me, how you answer this question tells me a lot about how you live your life. Again, the attitude that you bring to this experience will directly affect the results you will achieve.
Remember, there are risks and dangers in every aspect of life. There is an old proverb that says, “A life lived in fear is a life half lived.” You can avoid cars because you think they’re too dangerous, only to be run down by a drunk driver when you’re walking down the sidewalk. The safe thing is not to avoid dangers, but to take reasonable precautions and forge ahead.
Online dating is the same thing. Of course you need to be smart and be ready to sort through some frogs before you discover your prince. However, by following the principles and steps I’ve laid out here for you, finding the love of your life is not only possible, but it’s probable as well.
This course is broken down into step-by-step directions for each of the next 21 days. You can take it at your own pace, taking longer than a day to complete the work for a specific day, or follow the plan exactly, day by day – however it works for you.
However, and this is important: regardless of your pace, please make sure you’re clear on each day’s principles and have completed the exercise before you move on to the next, because each day builds on the one before. Don’t think that you can just skip ahead and get to the good stuff, for without the proper preparation that comes with the early steps, it might not be the good stuff that shows up.
To make it easy, we’ll send you an email each day when that day’s lesson is available, so you won’t feel overwhelmed or tempted to skip ahead.